I Scream, You Scream

(The scene: Dominion, in the ice cream aisle.)

Lynn: Oh my god, ice cream.
Jamie: Hells yes.
Lynn: You want to get some?
Jamie: Yes, but we have to get the right kind.
Lynn: What, pray tell, is the right kind?
Jamie: I will know it when I see it.
Lynn: Ah, so not unlike pornography.
Jamie: Yes. Mmm, ice cream porn.
Lynn: ...disturbing. So what do you want?
Jamie: Oooooh, neapolitan!
Lynn: Really? Neapolitan?
Jamie: What's wrong with that?
Lynn: Nothing. If you're a communist.
Jamie: What the shit? Communist? Oh, I get it. You're one of those assholes who would only eat one of the flavours. Because you're a racist.
Lynn: I am not a racist for not wanting strawberry ice cream to pollute the rest of the creamy frozen delights. Oh, what about this cookie dough stuff?
Jamie: Eh.
Lynn: Did you just "eh" at cookie dough? I think we have to break up.
Jamie: I don't like chunks in my ice cream. It's impure.
Lynn: NOW who's racist?
Jamie: No chunks. Moving on. Hey, soft serve in a tub!
Lynn: Ooh! It's Aero!
Jamie: It's delicious!
Lynn: It's... eight dollars!
Jamie: Eight dollars?! I can get a cow for that.
Lynn: But why would you--
Jamie: Now, we could get this large nondescript trough of ice cream for way less.
Lynn: ...Jamie.
Jamie: It meets all the requirements. It's only one flavour, it's not chunky, it's cheaper.
Lynn: Jamie.
Jamie: Um.
Lynn: You just remembered the same thing I did, didn't you.
Jamie: That I'm lactose-intolerant?